To start writing seems the best way to begin

I'm home. Thank you for your prayers. The journey was a long and somewhat harrowing adventure, but it's the in between time, ministry sandwhiched by travel, that really matters. Many stories and pictures will follow. For now, know that you are loved of God and chosen to be His messengers. Know too that you are blessed to not be orphaned and materially more comfortable than half the world, if not more.
In other words: know truth. :-)

love-sj

NOT leaving on a jet plane as planned.

I'm stuck in Urkaine and need your prayers. I was supposed to return Sunday but now - if everything goes smoothly (which it hasn't so far) I'll be back Wednesday. I believe it will be okay - but it's hard to be this exhausted. I desperately need your prayers.

i love you all.

thoughts in Ukraine, honest random bones

why am I here?

It's good and hard, exciting and stretching, like any good mission trip. Many things happened that were unexpected, also many disappointments. But in all of this - I want to know why I'm here. Is it to hug Lienna? Is it to realize just how cynical I can be? Is it because God is saying go into missions now - or don't go at all?

Is it to teach me to stop asking and wait patiently on the Lord? I didn't expect to have my questions answered on this trip - but I didn't expect to have them all change color either.

I feel that I wasted alot of my time here - being closed off emotionally because it was too overwhelming. I wished I would have given so much more of myself to these children and these missionaries. I realized that when things hit too close to home, I block everything out. Too many questions inside and I feel that I missed some important things.

Yet - these children need homes. I can't give it to them. But I can give them the truth of the gospel - and I did. And everything else is His business and He's good and I believe that.

So I still have hope. That's what I'm most thankful for today: Hope.

What is it about death that reminds us how alive we are even while inflicting that life with pain?

The world as we know it

Where is God calling me to?

I have never understood anything so little, as I have the will of God for my life. It is the mystery that haunts and draws me. Where God? My heart resonates: the world. The whole world? How is that possible? Isn’t that a little naïve? Isn’t that selfish? Still, it resonates: the world. What does this mean, God? In my foolishness I ask how. He answers:

Obey.

Here is a taste of the world in a unique way:
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=ae4482b5b3c41e1e8663af3630ff4020.900638&fr=yvmtf