Wonderful Wednesday

Books on my shelf - photo compliments of Blake.

Book Review

I love history but my attention span is short. I like the particulars of historical fact; I simply can't digest them all at once. And I don't like pure story telling because I can never trust a story devoid of facts.  I need that rare history book where the dates and places are masterfully woven into a strong human interest story. These two books are just such a masterpiece: easy and intelligent reading.

Mr. Adams's Last Crusade explores the incredible post-presidential career of John Quincy Adams. He accomplished far more as part of the congress than he ever did in the presidency. The groundwork he laid for Lincoln in ending slavery is downright inspiring and makes me wonder why Lincoln gets all the credit. The environment in which Lincoln succeeded was created, hewed by the sweat of John Quincy. His untiring, emotional yet knowledgeable, approach to the issue will make you feel like a basic underachiever in life. Which might be what we all need to motivate us to make a difference.

Mayflower is the story we all think we know but don't. I like this book because it approaches the story without the imperialistic assumptions that the pilgrims had a right to this land nor the over-simplistic sentiment that the pilgrims were a humble form of conquistadors. Both the Indians and the Puritans were fighting to preserve a way of life. Both were kind and moral, both were savage and selfish, both took advantage of each other and their own brethren, both were blinded to all but their own aspirations and both were noble and visionary with regard to this brave new world being born. Villains and heros abound and often within the same breast. In short, this is a story about humans. As such, I found it a refreshing read about a topic much mauled.

As mid-summers eve approaches, if you find yourself lucky enough to have a hammock (we recommend Eno's DoubleNest) and two appropriately spaced trees, indulge in reading one or both of these books while gently swaying in the breeze.

Mundane Monday: Nostalgia

I camped at Lake Tahoe for less than 24 hours, but I'll never forget it - peaceful, blue, cool without chill.

Flower Friday

My Iceberg Rose bush is in set to burst forth. I took this bloom as its first fruits, a promise of the beauty to come. My husband is infinitely patient with me as I nurse these rose bushes planted in 5 gallon drums (he even occasionally feeds them plant food) and cart them around with me every time we move. Now that's love!

Thoughtful Thursday:

amazon link

Last Friday (Good Friday), I began to read this book loaned to me by a friend. I finished it Saturday morning. I wrote the review below on my Goodreads but I thought I'd share it here. The review itself is somewhat transparent. I constantly struggle with how much of my story to share publicly. For the most part, I wait until I'm face to face with a person that needs to hear what I have to say and leave it at that. This book goes where I don't often go and I detail my recommendations for reading it at the end of my review.

"It is difficult for me to write a review for this book because it is shockingly similar to my own childhood - right down to the weird coping mechanisms, the KJV mania, the life-long bathroom issues and the quiet introverted English major named Matt who rescued me. I won't give you a summary of its contents. Plenty of reviews do that for you.

I read this book in 24 hours though I did not ENJOY reading it per se. It was emotional, difficult, and I dislike the lack of true reflection. On some level, she writes disassociatively, giving you facts and circumstances, clearly recollecting memories through the lens of her adult self. In that way, it's not a pure rendering or as brave a book as I believe she could have written. I imagine it was too painful to actually try and write it from the perspective of her child-self. But I can attest to its thematic honesty as an eye witness testifies in a trial.

The book is not written particularly well, but the content overpowers you enough so the lack of coherent structure is not distracting. There is hardly any resolution at the end, nor is there enough wrestling with the meaning of the messages she's left with [earning love] and their counter-messages [unconditional love], etc. The book describes the wounds and the weapons but very little of the medicine.

The copy I was given contained, in the back, an interview which resolves much and saves this book from being disheartening and unsatisfying. The interviewer asks excellent questions about the implications of the story and how the author perceives the world now, deals with the wounds, and continues healing.

I would recommend this book for pastors - who may have people under them with hyper-sensitivity to authoritarian sounding methods or cultural pressure - it will greatly help you understand some members of your flock and their tendency to push back. 

I would recommend this book for those who grew up in fundamentalism with a caveat that they set themselves up in a safe place with plenty of time, some tissues, and a plan for comfort from trusted friends. It may drag up old wounds, which may need resolving, or, at the least, may require some time for grieving again."

Wonderful Wednesday

What could be more wonderful than whole-wheat banana, chocolate, coffee muffins?? I got the recipe from one of my favorite blogs: The Vanilla Bean Blog. The pictures are sumptuous and the food itself is approachable. I tweaked the recipe a lot because I didn't feel like going to the store. I used coconut oil instead of canola/olive oil,  halved the expensive maple syrup and made up the difference with honey, left out the cacao nibs (they are expensive!!!) and used whole milk since I didn't have buttermilk on hand. The wet batter was disconcerting (I have trust issues with recipes) so I added an extra egg and an extra 1/4 cup of flour. They baked for around 20-25 minutes and came out delicious!!! 

*since so many people liked this - I've gone ahead and listed my alternate recipe below*

Flower Friday

I neglected to give you a flower friday because it was a three-day weekend and I don't blog on the weekend. I hope this makes up for it. I'm sorry, I can't tell you who took the picture or where it came from. But I can give you - in the theme of rising up - some poetry. If you're an avid follower here, you will have read it before, but since it is one of my favorites, I'll make no apologies. :}

Even such is time, which takes in trust, 
Our youth, our joys, our all we have,
And pays us but with age and dust ,
Who, in the dark and silent grave,
When we have wandered all our ways,
Shuts up the story of our days,
But from this earth, this grave, this dust,
My God shall raise me up, I trust.

~ Sir Walter Raleigh~

Thoughtful Thursday

Tomorrow is Good Friday. The immediate implication for my life is that I do not have to go to work. This is supposed to be a time to contemplate the Crucifixion of Christ. But I'm doing it in a round-about way. 

I'm contemplating prayer.

God has answered a lot of my prayers. Many of them intimate, some of them silly, some in secret and some very obviously. In 2010, I prayed for snow at our Tuesday night Bible Study, proclaiming that God wanted to teach us He really answers prayers. That very Friday Dallas received record snowfall  - I still haven't heard the end of that one! :p

I pray for a lost boy to come home and the boy comes that evening. I pray for the health of a baby and all is well. Of course, He doesn't always answer yes. I prayed hard for Elizabeth to live and she died. I can't tell you why He says yes or why He says no. But I'm not offended that He asks a measure of trust from me in our relationship. All relationships require that. 

When God answers prayer, He condescends to order the universe according to our requests. That is huge. And every time He does it, I'm blown away. In a way, my reaction reveals an unbelief. 

God condescended to mankind so much that He sent His Son to earth as a man. And I'm surprised when He condescends to order a little something here or there in the universe? Condescension is His norm. He is involved. History testifies powerfully to this and I am prone to ignore or disbelieve.

He could go ahead and order the universe a certain way without my requests. And frequently He does. So why do I have to ask? If you've ever asked someone for something, you will inherently understand the humility involved. Asking acknowledges that God is involved. It acknowledges that He is Lord and I am subject; that He is Father and I am child. It acknowledges the history of His condescension. In response I labor: seeing my world, thinking about ways it can be changed to honor Him, and actively requesting the Spirit to move.

He is risen!

Now let's get to work in prayer.

Wonderful Wednesday

A couple of weeks ago, I was going through a hard time and pointedly reminded Matt that I needed to be cared for. Sometimes, when a wife is strong, and life is busy, I think a man forgets to cosset her now-and-again. But she does indeed need to be cared for, especially if she is like me - prone to running around caring for everyone else. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I am very open about my needs. :D hehe. Matt rose to the occasion valiantly with breakfast in bed (complete with my tulips!) Bravo, dear.

Puddle Jumping

Living in close proximity to my sister means impromptu babysitting. My nephew and husband discover the joys of a little standing water. Matthew's expression is directed towards me - the one demanding they stand still for a picture - how long-suffering he is. :p

Flower Friday

Is my blog being reduced to a series of pictures? Am I okay with this? I was telling Matthew the other day that I finally figured out why I love Amaryllis so much. It's symmetrical. Matt and symmetrical are diabolically opposed, whereas I love symmetry. Though we've had some strained house-arrangement conversations when moving, the off-centered cycling photo in the background is a clear sign we've met in the middle.

Thoughtful Thursday

I'm slightly annoyed at myself for the Thoughtful Thursday idea because I'm not at all thoughtful today. So I'm pulling a Wonderful Wednesday on ya'll. Which means next Wednesday might be thoughtful. And then pretty soon my titles won't be relevant at all :]

Boxwood basil, chives, and thyme in tea canisters (with rocks on the bottom for drainage). Set up by my co-worker for our student worker. Prettiness in the office. And wonderful.

Wonderful Wednesday

Dinner parties are exhausting and wonderful. As you can see my dinning room faces full west. In the words of Lady Catherine de Bourgh 'a most inconvenient arrangement in summer'. None-the-less, the night was fun with excellent company. A thank you to my father-in-law for the lovely china set.

I want, therefore, I am

Today, the air is crisp and cool, the sky is blue, the sun is shinning, the grass is clean. Today, I woke up in a comfortable bed and brushed my hair in our master bathroom. Today, I put on blue ballet flats and a red day coat to ward off the slight chill. Today, I walked past pretty potted plants in my living room; flowers in my yard, and growing tomato, pepper, eggplant, onion and pea plants in my garden. Today, my husband kissed me goodbye as I headed to a job which I enjoy. Today, we were out of coffee so I went to a drive-thru and bought some with money I had in my purse. Today, there was no traffic. Today, I walked on two legs to my office where I began playing the music of my choice on pandora. Today, I have homemade pizza with a gluten free crust for lunch. Today, I sat down at my keyboard without pain anywhere in my body. Today, I e-mailed with my sister about dinner plans on Sunday. 

Today, I realize I have everything I want.

That isn't true, of course. There is more that I want. I want my father out of prison. I want a farm with rolling acres. I want a child. And if I look at pinterest enough, by the end of the day, I'll want a new outfit, a larger garden, a different bedspread, a cup of tea in the afternoon, a brownie to go with my pizza, a trip to the Grand Canyon.

If I got everything I wanted, would I stop wanting? No, I would find something else to want. And what would life look like if I didn't get any of those things? It would look like today. And today is good. Today is enough. Today is, fundamentally, everything I've ever wanted.

But there is no meaning in having everything you want. If there is, I should be happy to stay at this fundamental place forever. Yet, that concept is empty. So I instantly go back to the state of wanting. There is a twisted false hope in wanting: the promise of meaning.

Even when I don't want to want, I want. Even when I have everything I want, I want.

Contentment is great gain (I Timothy 6:6-8). With contentment we finally move from wanting to meaning. We don't need to want because we don't need the hope of meaning. And the crazy thing is that I've had the meaning all along. It just takes great courage to hang on to it.

Flower Friday

Geranium perks up an office. The color of the flowers is so vibrant, it took me a couple tries to capture it.

Thoughtful Thursday

Some of my favorite verses of poetry: EVER.

Wonderful Wednesday

A block from my house there is a large section of woods. Trails for mountain bikers weave between the trees and undergrowth. Neighborhood children claim this domain for their imaginary adventures. Sometimes, I take a walk on those trails, look at the birds, and enjoy glimpses of a woody flower. There's also a surprise in these woods, a remarkable, awe-inducing structure. The claims of ownership belong to no one and everyone. 'The Fort' is a lovely place to visit, to think, to breathe, to hear the squeals of happy children and to remember the joys of simple things. Sometimes, when all is quiet and still, I realize that adults need magical places too.

Longing

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them,and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers.
For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Pain is also a method of longing. Sometimes, it is the stench of the earth we have found, the dissonance of the chaos we have heard, and the news of misery all around us. That longing comes from ugliness. It too can break the heart of all who worship mistaken things.

Today the longing is great.