Sometimes the Lord uses scriptures to speak to you, but not in the way you expect. In the early mornings at 6:30 when I drag myself out of bed to feed Z and get the day started, the world is quiet and lamp light soft. I read my bible while he sleepily eats and slowly wakes.
I Thessalonians 1:4 says this "knowing, brethren, beloved by God, His choice of you;"
There's a whole context to this verse, an intended meaning, but sometimes God makes a phrase jump out and then whispers His own message in your ear. Monday morning, as I faced my first day back at work, the message was this "God's choice."
My days aren't hard, but they are constant. From the moment I roll out of bed, there is a string of things to do until my head hits the pillow. Wake, feed, grab breakfast, get dressed and log-on to work by 7:30am, work, feed, pack and load the lunch, the diaper bag, the computer bag, the pump, his bottle, etc. leave by 10 (fingers crossed that there's no construction or traffic or accidents), drop him off, swaddle him for his morning nap and drive to work, work, pump, inhale some lunch, work, leave at 3:30pm - drive to pick up the little guy, home, work, put supper on in between data-sets, feed, eat, wash dishes, drop into bed. If anything goes wrong, then everything gets rushed, which is a different level of stress. Most mornings my oatmeal is cold by the time I get around to eating it.
That was a lot of detail. My point is that working 40 hours, being a mom, doing the cooking, laundry, and cleaning means about 10 minutes of breathing time if I'm lucky. It would be easy to embrace bitterness or exhaustion or resentment. But He chose me.
I was chosen to be Zeb's mom, I was chosen to be Matt's wife, I was chosen to work at this job, I was chosen to live in this city, I was chosen to go to the church I attend and have the friends I have. I was chosen to live in this house that needs dusting every 10 seconds. God chose me for all these roles. For this time and place, for however long and for whatever reason. Clinging to that means trusting Him to strengthen me for all these things. Knowing that enables me to have a good attitude, to try and do well the things for which He's picked me. It means I can simply and calmly go from one constant point to the next constant point in my day - being thankful for the little graces along the way. Only the intimacy of Providence makes that possible.
