Fall Reading

Last year I think I read almost 30 books. This year, I've managed exactly two. But cooler fall temperatures promise rainy days and more cozy reading time. If the baby cooperates. Medical memoirs have long been fascinating to me. I'm not sure what the allure is. I feel confident that I could never and would never want to be a nurse or doctor. I have some dear friends who are and their stories, both human and humorous, are fascinating. So, in honor of fall reading weather, here's a list of some medical memoirs. The first two I've read. The last three I would like to read. Disclosure, most of them have fascinating author interviews on NPR's Fresh Air if you'd like to listen to a preview before committing to a read.

"Weekends at Bellevue" by Julie Holland

"The American Plague: The Untold Story of Yellow Fever, the Epidemic that Shaped Our History" by Molly Caldwell Crosby

"The Shift: One Nurse, Twelve Hours, Four Patients' Lives" by Teresa Brown

"Stories from the Shadows: Reflections of a Street Doctor" by James O'Connell

"Black Man in a White Coat: A Doctor's Reflections on Race and Medicine" by Damon Tweedy

Reading and ruminating

One of the perks of being sick and at home, too pregnant to do much, and on friendly terms with other book lovers, is the chance to read. I was a little proud I'd already read both books behind two of the most talked about recent film debuts (Unbroken and American Sniper). The first book is vastly superior to the second (film superiority is the reverse). I just started The American Plague by Molly Caldwell Crosby. The writing/narrative style and structure remind me of Eric Larsen's Issac's Storm. Since both books tell the story against the backdrop of the turn of the century, it's hard not to feel that Molly is, at times, stealing Eric's approach. Even some of the sentences read similar. But they both must talk about the hubris of the day for their story to make sense so it's perhaps inevitable that she sounds like an echo.

By far the best book I've recently read is Amazing Grace by Eric Metaxas. So much in this book is encouraging, inspiring and surprisingly relevant. First, Wilberforce faced a world with many evils. Slavery wasn't the only social injustice occurring around him, there were public hangings and dissections and burning and lots of cruelty in the lower classes. Yet, instead of being discouraged by the overwhelming work needed in the world, he focused on two specific objectives and poured his energy into them. I'm often overwhelmed and paralyzed by the needs in the world around me. To focus on two objectives to the exclusion of other needs feels like failure. But Wilberforce knew to what He was called. What I lack is that conviction of purpose.

The second point of encouragement is best described by a quote directly from the book (page. 68).

"Thus December 1785 - when both Newton and Pitt advised Wilberforce to stay where he was, in politics, and to put his newfound perspective to use in that sphere - was a historic moment. Before this time, a serious Christian would have felt theological pressure to leave "the world" and enter a life of Christian service. Wilberforce's decision to remain in politics made the transfer of Christian ideas into the previously "secular" realm of society possible for generations of Christians to follow."

How we so often separate our theology from our world instead of letting it inform and direct our actions? How much more do we keep the two at arms length, fearing either the world's response or caving to the pressure of being 'separate' in a way that other Christians think appropriate?

Building upon this point, the third astounding and inspiring part of this story emerges. The rich and powerful felt no inclination or responsibility to care for those beneath them, indeed, the prevailing worldview was that the poor were put in their place by God and should remain there. And whatever coarse brutality they both perpetuated and suffered was only natural given the brutishness of their nature. To mess with it was to rock the Sovereign boat. Wilberforce introduced a third perspective that would neither judge the poor and suffering nor ignore them, but rather reach out to them and help them up, so to speak. In a day where leaders had no problems embracing their own vice, he set in motion proclamations and clubs to make 'goodness fashionable' and used his influence and connections with the highest members of society to draw them into the idea. He also expresses, in a letter to a friend, something remarkably similar to the famous "broken window" approach to crime. That if law enforcement does not prosecute smaller crimes, this encourages an atmosphere of lawlessness which leads to greater crimes. The crown was not in the habit of prosecuting at all, one person had to bring suit against another if anyone wanted a crime to be pursued. But he understood that prosecuting and preventing the smaller crimes removed the temptation for larger ones and brought about a general atmosphere which discouraged (instead of encouraged) lawlessness. Another quote (pg. 79), "It's not too much to say that this single observation was the lever by which little Wilberforce replaced an entire world of brutality and misery with another of civility and hope, one that we now refer to as the Victorian era."

He basically changed the entire mindset of a country and an era, where leaders now felt they had a responsibility to be moral and upright, instead of blatant bribery or self-interest, to care for those in lower situations, instead of ignoring or judging them for their misfortunes or iniquity. He gave the world the notion of a social conscious. Such large repercussions from simple faithful perseverance. I don't think I believe faithfulness is truly that powerful.

Of course, the most inspiring part is his unending efforts to abolish the slave trade and earn emancipation for all slaves. Every year for twenty years, he brought forward a bill to parliament. He wrote thousands of letters, enlisted many people, traveled to foreign countries, spent most of his private fortune and blasted the political leaders for the hypocrisy of their self-seeking interest in maintaining the slave trade while calling themselves Christian. When the book goes into detail about the horrors of the slave trade, it is almost unreadable. I think if I were African American, I would not be able to read it. At least, not without rage and bitterness taking over. I just don't know how you could digest such truth about your ancestors without it ripping you apart. I don't think I could bear it. You can't remove yourself from the human implications if you have a beating heart. But it's less personal to me as a white woman. I can't imagine it being so personal. I don't think I would respond very well.

If you only read one book this year, I recommend it be this book. I confess I couldn't get through the massive detail of his Bonhoeffer book (though it's one of Matt's favorites). This book is much more readable in it's focus and length.

The end.

Wonderful Wednesday

Books on my shelf - photo compliments of Blake.

Book Review

I love history but my attention span is short. I like the particulars of historical fact; I simply can't digest them all at once. And I don't like pure story telling because I can never trust a story devoid of facts.  I need that rare history book where the dates and places are masterfully woven into a strong human interest story. These two books are just such a masterpiece: easy and intelligent reading.

Mr. Adams's Last Crusade explores the incredible post-presidential career of John Quincy Adams. He accomplished far more as part of the congress than he ever did in the presidency. The groundwork he laid for Lincoln in ending slavery is downright inspiring and makes me wonder why Lincoln gets all the credit. The environment in which Lincoln succeeded was created, hewed by the sweat of John Quincy. His untiring, emotional yet knowledgeable, approach to the issue will make you feel like a basic underachiever in life. Which might be what we all need to motivate us to make a difference.

Mayflower is the story we all think we know but don't. I like this book because it approaches the story without the imperialistic assumptions that the pilgrims had a right to this land nor the over-simplistic sentiment that the pilgrims were a humble form of conquistadors. Both the Indians and the Puritans were fighting to preserve a way of life. Both were kind and moral, both were savage and selfish, both took advantage of each other and their own brethren, both were blinded to all but their own aspirations and both were noble and visionary with regard to this brave new world being born. Villains and heros abound and often within the same breast. In short, this is a story about humans. As such, I found it a refreshing read about a topic much mauled.

As mid-summers eve approaches, if you find yourself lucky enough to have a hammock (we recommend Eno's DoubleNest) and two appropriately spaced trees, indulge in reading one or both of these books while gently swaying in the breeze.

Thoughtful Thursday:

amazon link

Last Friday (Good Friday), I began to read this book loaned to me by a friend. I finished it Saturday morning. I wrote the review below on my Goodreads but I thought I'd share it here. The review itself is somewhat transparent. I constantly struggle with how much of my story to share publicly. For the most part, I wait until I'm face to face with a person that needs to hear what I have to say and leave it at that. This book goes where I don't often go and I detail my recommendations for reading it at the end of my review.

"It is difficult for me to write a review for this book because it is shockingly similar to my own childhood - right down to the weird coping mechanisms, the KJV mania, the life-long bathroom issues and the quiet introverted English major named Matt who rescued me. I won't give you a summary of its contents. Plenty of reviews do that for you.

I read this book in 24 hours though I did not ENJOY reading it per se. It was emotional, difficult, and I dislike the lack of true reflection. On some level, she writes disassociatively, giving you facts and circumstances, clearly recollecting memories through the lens of her adult self. In that way, it's not a pure rendering or as brave a book as I believe she could have written. I imagine it was too painful to actually try and write it from the perspective of her child-self. But I can attest to its thematic honesty as an eye witness testifies in a trial.

The book is not written particularly well, but the content overpowers you enough so the lack of coherent structure is not distracting. There is hardly any resolution at the end, nor is there enough wrestling with the meaning of the messages she's left with [earning love] and their counter-messages [unconditional love], etc. The book describes the wounds and the weapons but very little of the medicine.

The copy I was given contained, in the back, an interview which resolves much and saves this book from being disheartening and unsatisfying. The interviewer asks excellent questions about the implications of the story and how the author perceives the world now, deals with the wounds, and continues healing.

I would recommend this book for pastors - who may have people under them with hyper-sensitivity to authoritarian sounding methods or cultural pressure - it will greatly help you understand some members of your flock and their tendency to push back. 

I would recommend this book for those who grew up in fundamentalism with a caveat that they set themselves up in a safe place with plenty of time, some tissues, and a plan for comfort from trusted friends. It may drag up old wounds, which may need resolving, or, at the least, may require some time for grieving again."

books

I've just finished reading these two books. The first one is sort of interesting but a little slow on the story-telling anecdotal side and a bit confusing on the philosophical side.

The second one is well-written and interesting to those who like scientific experiments, statistics, and their possible sociological implications (which I do). Those who are artistic or who always thought they might be, would probably also like the book.

It's good to be reading again.

Reading

I like to read. I don’t love to read. And I have trouble reading. Not with the mechanics but with the patience required. For the past several months I’ve been stuck in Bonhoeffer’s biography. My attention simply isn’t captured (about which I definitely feel guilty). So even though I’m in the middle of a book, I’m longing to read something. Just not just anything apparently, but something that’s too irresistible to put down. A book that’s enthralling. Since I’m an easily distracted reader, that’s a tall order.

I also like the idea of reading. It looks lovely when done by everyone else. When I read, however, I’m a sloppy, slouchy mess sprawled on a couch with bad lighting. I was better when I was little. I would climb up my favorite tree in the front yard or the big magnolia in the back yard as an adolescent and perch on a limb to read for hours uninterrupted.

But I didn’t have someone to take my picture and instagram it so I don’t think it counts. ;)

When I was little, the books I read were also designed for someone easily distracted. Not so much anymore. Now I read adult books (in order to have any sort of credibility as a reader :) and my favorites are fast moving disaster stories or weather stories or romance stories (real romance stories like the Scarlett Pimpernel). My husband, on the other hand, reads through Pulitzer prize books about Lincoln in two days. The Bonhoeffer book sits on my dresser and I feel guilty every time I look at it. It whispers to me ‘you’re not a REAL reader’. So then I wonder, what is a real reader? And do they actually exist anymore (besides Caroline, of course :)? Or are there just a bunch of fakers out there. Honestly, it takes too much effort to be a faker. I’ll just let Bonhoeffer languish and speed through a 100 page diddly about a farm girl at the turn of the century or a hiker who cut off his arm or a hurricane that wiped out Galveston. And I probably won’t look cute doing it. So there. :D

I would probably get a head ache if I did this.

bookshelf envy

I know I’ve been a little dried up lately. I just don’t have much to say. The thoughts I think have to do with gardening, menu’s, wishing my home was nicer, thankfulness that I don’t have to vacuum today, wondering if sewing is really worth the hassle or if I should just drop $40 bucks on a dress for work (though it irks me that I could probably reproduce it for $8 if only sewing prowess was magically imparted upon me). Daily things, insignificant things, things that take energy. Things that are pretty boring to write about.

I never realized how much I charged forward when I was younger. How, if I was feeling restless or wanted a change, I would simply grab it. I don’t think I practiced much forbearance during those free-falling years. Occasionally, it’s still hard to transition. It’s funny how thin the line is between being inspired by something you see or read (as I plow through Bryson’s travel narrative) and being depressed by it :}

reading

In between helping my friend move this past weekend and my brother move last weekend (can you say: tiring!), I’ve been coasting through my library stash. Issac’s Storm is fantastic! It is a compelling look at the hurricane which struck Galveston in 1900, to this day the most deadliest hurricane to hit the U.S., and how man’s ego, human error, national identity and historical meteorology all played a role. The book is not based on a true story – it IS the story, meticulously research and grippingly told. It’s All Too Much is a rare self-help book that’s actually interesting to read. Peter Walsh’s great personality comes through in his writting. I’ve kicked off a purging bin whereby I’m organizing, donating, and cleaning out the house! Couplehood was funny 10 years ago when I read it, but a second glance makes me realize most of the humor isn’t relevant (unfortunately). It would probably be funny to someone reading it for the first time, even with the age factor. Apartment Therapy is eye candy, pure and simple! My Bible Study group is reading a commentary on Romans (though, in the interest of full disclosure, this book is not from the library. I own it). And sewing couture was really boring. That’s all I’ve got for you until I get pictures of my nephew, garden, or latest cooking experiments.

reading

The train is where I write most of my posts: in my head while the scenery whizzes. Recently I haven’t been thinking or looking out the window and consequently no new posts have been constructed. I have been reading. Leaving the current world behind, I enter one far away in time, space, and essence.

Long ago, in response to a catalyst I can’t remember, I bought and read East of New York, West of Kabul which remains one of the best books I’ve ever known. A seed was planted, one of interest and wonder about the subject. I’m watering the seed now with borrowed books from the library (I love the library!) I finished Kabul Beauty School and am currently midway through An Unexpected Light. I’m pretty sure they’re both overdue :] The first takes place in 2003 after the Taliban were dethroned and the thick verbose Unexpected Light takes place before the Taliban but after the Russians withdrew. The two books present an interesting contrast with snapshots of one country in different times. But they also provide a gender contrast. The book written by a woman gives us the world of women and the book written by a man gives us the world of men. Aside from the family unit, these worlds do not collide. Two different authors, two different decades but the divide remains the same.

As I discover the history of this land rich in beauty, culture, and struggle, I’m fascinated by a legacy that never reached the future. The ethnic and gender divide was not so sharp as it is now. [though there is always struggle in every land between tradition and non-tradition] In the 1960’s, before the Russians ravaged the land girls could wear nail polish, be educated, interact (veiled not burqa’d) with men, etc. People helped each out regardless of ethnicity. There was a unity and progression from the grassroots that existed…until Russian trampled the hell out of it and we left them high and dry. Idealogy was lost when several generations were killed, unable to pass along to their children the legacy of their heritage.

What have you been reading lately?

wish list

I know Christmas is over but since each new year inspires dreams, here's a corresponding wish-list:

My childhood memories are proliferated with hanging loads of laundry outside to dry. Being outside was the best part: swatting summer honey bees, rescuing fistfuls of shirts from a sudden spring thunderstorm, and taking turns warming our wintry hands under the dryer vet before reaching again for the clothespines (I don't know why we didn't have gloves? or why the dryer was running while we were hanging up clothes...).

I'm a bad photographer. I miss analogue. Perhaps this little beauty could solve two problems with one click.

The Stylish Dress book (written entirely in Japanese) is full of easy and pretty patterns and is taking the u.s. sewing blogger world by storm. A hard-to-find copy was spotted on etsy. I'm not linking to it - back off, it's mine... someday. :]

Conglomeration

I must say that I am actually thankful for facebook. I have caught up with more friends that I ever thought I would and though the contact is superficial through facebook, it can lead to deeper contact through e-mail, etc.

Last Saturday, I went to a hiking seminar sponsored by Backpacker and learned quite about of interesting things. The two people hosting it were newlyweds that spent a year long honeymoon hiking the American Discovery Trail. They were really nice and down to earth and not weird condescending backpackers. Now I have new addition to my to-do-list, which is bike (hiking might be too much) the ADT. That would be AMAZING! After all, its only 6,800 miles :-)

I read a very interesting book during the break: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. It is written from the perspective of an autistic boy. Lots of things make it interesting though, not simply the voice, if you're looking for a new book to read, I recommend it. Be warned though that its written by a British man and he uses swear words semi frequently.

I also discovered the fascinating content on my friend David's blog about his work chronicling translation projects for Wycliffe. He also uploads little video's here and there are funny and informative. Just like the geography games, I think I'm addicted.

I was at my brothers apartment last night watching the travel channel [he has cable] and was reminded why I like Samantha Brown so much. A purusal of their website led to a 'travel ideas' list which had a section highlighting good hostels to stay in various countries. Humm...that might come in handy one day. :-]

More seriously, my friend Ryan "Sqeeuze" was seriously injured a week ago when a big piece of metal disk at the factory where he is employed, shattered. There's a website with updates, please be in prayer for his recovery. Ryan was on my mission trip to an orphanage in mexico a couple years ago with LU. He brought his amazing stilts and wowed all the children. :-]

Reading

Here's an update on two books I read recently.

1. My very first Agatha Christie book: The Mysterious Affair at Styles. I have always heard of and seen people reading them and wondered. Well, not anymore. She is a great writer. Her red herrings are masterful, she leaves you disliking the narrator (very unique) and yet you find yourself being just like the narrator, believing you know exactly who did it. Except, of course, you're wrong. After getting used to figuring out Authur Conan Doyle's villians, I thought I could peg Agatha Christie's with little problem, since there is a great similiarity stylistically in how they write and develop the plot. But for those dang red herrings! It was a great introduction into this part of the literary world and I enjoyed it very much. The only thing I was right about was in proclaiming to my roommate that I would have the book (which belonged to her) finished by 11:30. The minute I turned the last page, the clocked ticked from 11:29. :-]

2. Adopting Aloysha cannot acurately be summarized here. And yet, I'm still going to try :-] It is perhaps one of the best books I have read in a very long time. Where I would give Agatha Christie a 4 on a 5 point scale, I would give Robert Klose (the author) a 7. It is about the journey of a single man adopting a son from Russia. It follows his emotional ups and downs about why he's adopting and all the paperwork, setbacks, hopes, complications, and eventual joy. Even though you know the outcome, he writes so well that you feel as if you're right there with him at that point in the journey, not having a clue what will come next. What I particularly like is his descriptions of the attitudes and encounters with Russian culture - which was done so well and reminded me of my recent experiences in the orphanage in Ukraine - and of saying "spasiba" everywhere I went. [Russian for "thank-you"] :-] Anyhow, I LOVE this book, it shows the joy in adoption where so often we who do mission work only see the heartache. It shows one man fighting with everything he has, even when hopeless, to bring his son home - which is a beautiful picture of the gospel in many ways.

Each book I read in the course of a day, so if you don't have alot of reading time, they are good ones to pick up. :-]

Better

I am reading C.S. Lewis’ Christian Behavior, co.1943.

He speaks about morality, using a ship as an analogy for the human machine. How the human machine is doing morally affects not only himself (he may sink) but others around him (he may crash into them) and if the whole fleet of ships is sea-worthy and unified they may still be heading to the wrong port. In this way, he gives us three things that morality is concerned with: social morality, how the individual is doing in relation to other individuals; individual morality, how one is doing with himself; and ‘the general purpose of human life as a whole’.

He talks about how modern man is almost always concerning himself with the first one – how peace is coming along and whether everyone is taken care of or not – all the while seeming to think that how one is doing inside is a personal affair that does not include anyone else. I would venture to say that while this may have been true of 1943, today, most people are actually concerning themselves with the second. They still believe that how they are doing on the inside is of no consequence to each other but it is of the utmost importance: the human machine should certainly focus on self. Our culture purports the idea that one man’s morality is of no consequence to another man, and we believe this, until one man shoots a lot of other men and then we say: someone should have taken responsibility for how this human was doing inside, someone should have noticed the human machine was broken and fixed it for this is terrible amoral.

And that is where the difficulty begins according to Lewis. For everyone can agree that social morality means being good and kind to each other, but internal morality, according to our culture, cannot be the same for everyone. And yet, in action, they do believe that it should be the same for everyone, that everyone should good and kind inside: for this will facilitate the goodness and kindness they display towards their fellow man. Lastly, the general purpose of human life as a whole is not bothered with in our society. They deny that it has any relevance for the first two kinds of morality. Yet is it the very foundation. His quote is best (naturally):

“Religion involves a series of statements about fact, which must be either true or false. If they are true, one set of conclusions will follow about the right sailing of the human fleet: if they are false, quite a different set. For example, let us go back to the man who says that a thing can’t be wrong unless it hurts some other human being. He quite understands that he mustn’t damage the other ships in the convoy, but he honestly thinks that what he does to his own ship is simply his own business. But does it not make a great difference whether it really is his own ship or not? Doesn’t it make a great difference whether I am, so to speak, the landlord of my own mind and body, or only a tenant, responsible to the real landlord?

Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which wouldn’t be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years…..and immortality makes this other difference, which, by and by, has a connection with the difference between totalitarianism and democracy. If individuals live only seventy years, then a state, or a nation, or a civilization, which may last for a thousand years, is more important than an individual. But if Christianity is true, then the individual is not only more important but incomparably more important, for he is everlasting and the life of the state or a civilization, compared with his, is only a moment.”

-never settle-

Sale

The library at the college where I work recently had a book-sale. I came away with 6 books. Hardbacks were $1. and paperbacks were .05 cents. What a deal! Actually, I was quite proud of my self-restraint.

Part of me is sorry to be posting again about books, preferring to have a diversity of topics represented in my posting, but there's not much else to say and this place is begging for an update. Also, I'm currently writing a newsletter for my e-mail list and an in-depth post + newsletter is, sometimes, just too much to ask of me :-] Especially recently with some difficulty I've been having with chronic fatigue (the doctors are checking it out). My brain is not working as well as I would like it to be.

Back to the book-sale:
I bought an old hardback book published by Time Magazine, a compilation of articles and pictures from the Gulf War in '91. A war my Father fought in. I bought it for my sister - things like that have meaning for her. (also, history and war are academic interests for her) I purchased a brand new hardback English/Arabic Bible, which I am VERY excited about. I would love to know Arabic fluently one day but even though I have several books on learning it, it is a difficult language and I have not been applying myself very much so progress in that area is minuscule. I purchased a paperback book called The Universe and Dr. Einstein for my brother Alan, a score of classical sheet music (I cannot remember the composer), an old hardback The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis (another purchase for which I am very excited) and a paperback of a classic book which I can't remember! (darn it!) It's Charles Dickens something...wow - that's pathetic.

I really miss playing the piano. In looking over my sheet music, I realized once again how it's cathartic for me to play. It's one of the truest things I love to do in life, more than sports or writing or reading. Yet, often because of lack of opportunity, it gets the back burner of my hobbidical pursuits. [i just made up a word!]

-never settle-

Suppose

I continue to read Francis A. Sheaffer's The God Who is There. Also, I read the entire book of I Thessalonians last night (I confess it was a way to procrastinate from doing my taxes) Here are some thoughts as a result of those readings:

Modern man follows the philosophy of self-expression and self-indulgence. Whether he believes all is meaningless or he believes meaning can be found in man - he still begins within himself. Because of this, no one can say to him "you are impure" and make any sense. For to say that, is to find man lacking in comparison to a standard outside himself. Thus questions of purity are ludicrous and man seeks to satisfy his every desire and craving, looking to a self-absorbed and instant gratification culture created by him for himself. Yet, we, the followers of Christ, do not hold to a point of beginning within ourselves, but rather, outside ourselves. (the Bible says this is foolishness and a stumbling block to the world). Thus, allowing an outside standard of purity to be applied to ourselves; behaviors of self-discipline and non-gratification now make sense. The Bible tells us that, far from being the antonym of joy, this leads to joy. Furthermore, our joy is not the end, but simply a bi-product. We are to live in this manner because what is outside of us (Christ, God) has decided the end to which we should conduct our lives, the end which He is bringing about. "For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity but in sanctification." I Thessalonians 4:7.

This is not to belittle grace in any sense. Grace is belittled only when modern thought takes over again. God says, "The standard is mine, to be applied by me, I forgive your sins, they are paid for." Modern religious man may admit that the standard originates from/with God, but man applies it saying "I have failed, I cannot forgive myself, I must (in whatever self-imposed way) make up for (atone for) these sins of mine." Thus, true grace does not exist for the modern man because he begins with himself instead of God. [man may think he can give himself grace but in actuality he is simply redefining the standard.]

Unfortunately, many "Christians" today operate from modern presuppositions. They would never say so, but they live their lives according to it. What you live out in life is what you most believe (whether you admit it or not). If you could take all the thoughts from all their minds and transfer it into language, these presuppositions would be easily identified. They infiltrate even my own thoughts and practices. Thankfully, that is not the last word, for "Faithful is He who calls you and He also will bring it to pass." I Thessalonians 5:24

Never settle friends. (and thank you for encouraging me to never settle either)

Modernity

My roommate and I were discussing the similar themes we found between three books we have just read written by females from the generation of women's rights (two were Christian but all were somewhat "liberal" in perspective). Two particular themes were taking care of yourself and despair. The last one surprised me in it's intensity. When the feminist movement took place, it was built on an already philosophical shift to modern thought - which is - a focus on self.

So women started investing in their careers, divorcing their husbands, and making an amazing art out of parenting so that those who did stay home could justify child rearing by turning it into a veritable profession (Nora speaks of this in her book). They were "free" to listen to their wants and act on them. In fact, it was "right" to do this. The contrast can be seen in a recent conversation I had with my roommate. I was tired and exhausted and didn't want to clean the bathroom for our weekend guest. Our conversation went roughly like this:

"Try taking a nap."

"I already did. I still have no energy."

"Try eating"

"I'm about to. I may still not have any energy."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Pretend like I do have energy and clean the bathroom."

She noted how that line of thought was in contrast with the themes she had just encountered: modern woman saying, 'listen to your body and do what it says'. I was just going to ignore my body and do what needed to be done. (please note: I am not advocating a neglect of your physical needs)

Sadly, that generation is getting old and facing death and what they communicate through books, movies, etc. is despair and denial. The natural outcome of their approach is a huge weight of responsibility on the individual for meaning in life. They spent their days listening to themselves and look back to find nothing and they can't even bear to look forward because they find nothing there either. It's depressing. Nora ends her book going from a paragraph on death to using her favorite bath oil. She comes right up to death but can't bear to go beyond it.

Christianity is shocking in comparison. We die to ourselves. We have hope instead of despair. We look beyond death. Even if our answers don't make sense to a non-Christian, at least they can see we're brave enough to ask. Nora's use of denial is unmistakable and glaring. And so I'm glad - glad that Christianity is shockingly upside down from modernism. My only concern is that this sort of Christianity is becoming much more rare. -never settle-

domesticity

So I moved the list of books that I've been wanting to read - onto the sidebar. Unfortunately, I accidently deleted the post about them. Wonderfully - I found two of them at Belhaven's library and now they are in my room waiting for me: The God Who is There by Shaeffer, and Neither Riches or Poverty by Bloomberg. I started Shaeffer's book and so far it is deep. I like that. However, I got sidetracked by a book that my roommate checked out from the library called I Don't Like My Neck (or something to that degree) by Nora Ephron. She wrote the screenplays for movies like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You've Got Mail. It's a light hearted, easy to read, funny but candid book about woman growing older. I'm hoping, that, because it's short and light, I can quickly read through it and get back to Shaeffer without being derailed too much :-]

In the book, she talks about life in New York and (so far) cooking. Caroline (my roomate) noted that everything she knows about New York, she learned from Nora. I've had the chance to visit New York personally and so I have a sense with which to compare Nora's observations of New York Life - but, there is something wonderful about New York City that it seems Nora can capture - which I can't. It makes me want to live there one day. I digress. The cooking is what this post is really about.

Nora speaks about the different cookbooks she's encountered and lived with through the years and the recipes she has loved, hated, tried, ambivelent, used for company, and cooked for certain poeple (friends or other cooks) etc. It made me think of my own cookbooks and the experiences I've had with them and their recipes, invariably though, my favorite recipes to cook are those that i've "accidently" discovered on my own or have been taught by a friend - my meatloaf dish being a prime example. Elizabeth Manley taught me that recipe, she also gave me my first casserole dish - which I still use everytime I make her meatloaf. Elizabeth is very wonderful. My friend Jon found her and married her and brought her to Texas for the rest of us to enjoy. I don't really know her all that well, but I appreciate her domestic guidance for the few months where we lived in the same region. In fact, there are four poeple who inspire me domestically speaking (and that's a feat!) they are Katie Abbot, Elizabeth Manely, Anita Dick and my current roommate Caroline. *warm fuzzies* thank you gals. Whenever I cook, I think of you. Never settle.