today and tomorrow

I had class last night and today and I loved every minute! Please be praying for a solution to my transportation needs during my Thursday evening night class. I'm still wary of taking the bus in my neighborhood at 9:45 at night.
I'm going backpacking tomorrow. I'm so excited. Learning and backpacking all in one week! Can you tell I'm feeling very thankful right now?

I don't believe random Bible opening is an appropriate method of studying God's Word. However, last night I was very tired from working on a paper (for a class that hasn't even started!) so I plopped it open for a couple minutes to read with tea before bed.

I have been struggling to have a good attitude in work and school towards those around me. I despise bullies and refuse to be intimidated by those who try to lord their knowledge or power over others. Maybe it's because I have two older brothers, maybe it's because I went to legalistic churches as a child or grew up in the ghetto, but I'm feisty and I cannot stand people who intimidate others purposefully. Sometimes, though, I am needlessly feisty, I often respond to those in authority as if they were lording over me when they are not. I struggle to allow myself to be humbled, to respect, and to serve, especially when those I'm serving are prideful or rude (human! just like me! :).

Particularly because today is my first full-on class and because of a recent work situation, it was meaningful that God led me to I Thessalonians 5:12-14:"But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another." I needed to be set straight in how I view and treat those I work with and for and learn from. I need to strive for peace.

Soon, I will be meeting other students and interacting with the body of Christ, an organism of faulty and weak people, and just like my family, I can't walk away from the Body simply because its not perfect. Thessalonians continues to give guidance: "We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone."

bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils

My first day of class and I learned several things:

1. bring a sweater.

2. sit on the side of the room where all the girls sit [gender segregation is very important ;-]

3. no one uses pencils anymore :-[

4. i will need to get used to typing noises during class...weird.

5. i still love learning. five years at LU and four years in the working world have not sucked that away.

submit to God

I've been reading James. To be candid, with the upheaval of the last three weeks, my bible reading has been slacking. Its hard to focus on the Bible when I sit down in a room surrounded by boxes and things to do. Three weeks can slip away so fast and before you know it, a month is gone and you've lost your identity and your peace and your tenderness.

James 3:13 says "Who among who is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom." I use alot of excuses to behave badly: humor, liberty, personality, stress. Knowledge is not wisdom and knowing tempts me with pride that pushes all gentleness out the window.

James 4: "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?... You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures...whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God..." He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us"? But He gives a greater grace, therefore it says, 'God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' Submit therefore to God." When conflicts or bad attitudes arise I don't automatically begin to think: what pleasures of the world am I after? Yet, James points to this as the source. I remember a quote by Aristotle "It is the nature of desire not to be satisfied, and most men live only for the gratification of it." In the face of my almost automatic behavior to seek worldly pleasures (and by wordly I mean: status, knowledge, prettiness, new things) I'm heartened by God giving me a "greater" grace.

As so many things do, it comes down to this: Submit to God.

-never settle-

current project

http://www.barneys.com/Hidden%20Pocket%20Dress/22108.5372,default,sp.html?cgid=BARNE09&start=0&sz=1

Surely there's a way to replicate this dress without spending $950.00! Although - I am finding it difficult to locate a wool/silk blend fabric...

Also, I haven't been feeling well lately :-[

of no consequence

I feel a little bit like I'm posting for the sake of posting - and whenever I do that - I eventually return to delete it. My roommate Sara arrived and we're attempting to create a semblance of order. The problem with quaint older homes is the lack of storage and the problem with us is the plethora of things we own. Can the two be reconciled?

Christina's wedding went wonderfully. I didn't cry as much as I anticipated. Her father called yesterday to thank me for all my hard work. That was sweet and meaningful but my response was awkward. I'm not used to praise or thanks. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it.

I saw Becca and Jeremiah and Samantha and now Maggie is visiting. It's all exciting and sweet but I'm too tired to embrace everything. School starts soon. I have the urge to go backpacking and escape for a little bit.

I'm considering making a decision that's rather large - though its one within my heart and will be barely noticeable to others. Every attempt to explain it has been a little misunderstood (except by Christina). I think the fault lies with my explanation - not with the listeners. Still, it's been on my mind lately. Submission, trust, expectation, God's goodness.

I'm running the race - it's uphill and not very scenic right now - but I'm running nonetheless. :-]

satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love

Psalm 90:14-17

• Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
• Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.
• May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.
• May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.

My roommate comes today. It is cooler outside; I'm thankful for that.

Current project

What I'm working on: 8 pages of wedding liturgy!