I forget

For awhile there I felt abandoned by God. I have those times, I think everyone does, where you feel like God dropped you off in a place and forgot about you. There is a wonderful woman here who mentors me named Mrs. Rollins. Before I left for Ukraine, she prayed with me about all the things in my heart, the questions and the restlessness, the dreams and desires, and she prayed that God would be good to me.

It isn't that He suddenly decided to be good - He has always been good - but He has reminded me and opened my eyes to see that goodness, so that it seems lately that He's been especially kind and gracious to me, letting me know I haven't been forgotten and giving me an extraordinary amount of good gifts.

One of those gifts was Ukraine. It was huge! Part of me still can't believe He let me go and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. Going to Ukraine in itself was like a Christmas present He gave me, but being in Ukraine opened my eyes to see even more of the goodness that's been there all along, being extended to me constantly. [like material comfort and friends]

But it doesn't end there. He has given me clarity about several things [relationships actually :-) ], grace in several conversations that I was dreading and/or avoiding :=]. He has given me the chance to go to Urbana, that's a huge gift!, He has given me assurance that He will send me. He has also given me a small dream that I never put much weight in because I just thought it would never happen: violen lessons. Such a small forgotten dream that He suddenly made come true. He's so sweet and I don't deserve any of it. None of us do, but it's there none-the-less. And He's not our magic jeanie and He doesn't pretend to be, but He's a good Father and delights in giving us gifts, even when we forget or don't trust enough to ask, or even when we don't realize it's a gift while we're receiving it, and don't recognize it as such until much later. He is good. So,

Give Him glory and give Him praise. -SJ-