winter

I do not know if winter brings the heavier posts or if is the result of circumstance. I feel like a spoiled child, crying when I don't receive some thing I deam precious and yet basking in the comfort of warmth, food, salvation, and eternal hope.

Yesterday, I was asked "What is important to you?" It caught me off guard and so I was forced to be honest: Jesus, my family, the lost. It really is that simple for me. Everything else I hold losely too. Perhaps that is why I often feel no direction, because I don't have a plan. I do not think its important to have a certain profession or live in a particular place. [It is only important if God tells you to do so.] I could go anywhere and do anything, that is why I often entertain the thought of going anywhere and doing anything :-]

Perhaps its because I'm a "free spirit", perhaps its because I've known extensive loss, perhaps its just my disposition. I cling to very few things. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I ought to care more about the particulars, that everyone is a little annoyed at me for not caring. But it just doesn't matter. Anyway I turn, time takes away what is precious and leads me to discovery newness. Its both painful and exhausting, joyous and adventurous.