Tonight, I went to Books-A-Million. I was browsing and ran across C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce, one of those books that I've always been meaning to read, but have yet to. It was only ten dollars. So I thought I would buy it. My money was in the car, so I went to get it.
Well, standing outside was the same old security guard who always hits on me and makes me feel uncomfortable. He's not really old, old, like 35, but it's just odd. The last couple times, he's stopped me to talk with me and such. I try to be polite, but afterwhile, it's like a huge discussion with him asking me personal questions. He just makes me feel errie, it's not like the parking lot is heavily trafficed or anything. So tonight, as I exited, he asked me how school was going (although last time, I told him I wasn't in school) I said I was fine, smiled, and kept walking. And instead of getting the money out of my car and heading back inside, I just got in my car and came home. I didn't want another encounter with him.
As I drove away, God said to me: why don't you witness to him, instead of always trying to avoid him?
The question makes me stop and think. Yes, he's an older guy, and that could be akward, yes my heart is full of fear, not necessarily of witnessing, more of being hurt, but why don't I? There's so much pain in my past, everytime I think it's behind me, God has to rescue me from it again. God says to me: quit allowing Satan to tear open wounds that I have already healed. And do not be afraid. Certaintly, if I say I believe, then I should have enough faith in God to witness to this man if I'm commanded to do so. God will give me words, God will keep me safe. Why don't I?
Sometimes I am so consumed with fear. If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed. That statement is something that Satan tempts me to forget. The voices of the first 20 years of my life are so hard to drown out. At LU, when a computer science techy led me to Christ (go Computer Science techies!) I was surrounded by alot of Godly voices, and it's been that way for the past four years. Not so anymore. The answer? To believe, to believe the truth, that I am set free from fear, from the past, and when I believe: truely, then I can trust God enough to do what He says.
And when that happenes, it's a beautiful freeing thing, not just for me, but the lost soul that hears the saving truth that sets them free as well.
Well, standing outside was the same old security guard who always hits on me and makes me feel uncomfortable. He's not really old, old, like 35, but it's just odd. The last couple times, he's stopped me to talk with me and such. I try to be polite, but afterwhile, it's like a huge discussion with him asking me personal questions. He just makes me feel errie, it's not like the parking lot is heavily trafficed or anything. So tonight, as I exited, he asked me how school was going (although last time, I told him I wasn't in school) I said I was fine, smiled, and kept walking. And instead of getting the money out of my car and heading back inside, I just got in my car and came home. I didn't want another encounter with him.
As I drove away, God said to me: why don't you witness to him, instead of always trying to avoid him?
The question makes me stop and think. Yes, he's an older guy, and that could be akward, yes my heart is full of fear, not necessarily of witnessing, more of being hurt, but why don't I? There's so much pain in my past, everytime I think it's behind me, God has to rescue me from it again. God says to me: quit allowing Satan to tear open wounds that I have already healed. And do not be afraid. Certaintly, if I say I believe, then I should have enough faith in God to witness to this man if I'm commanded to do so. God will give me words, God will keep me safe. Why don't I?
Sometimes I am so consumed with fear. If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed. That statement is something that Satan tempts me to forget. The voices of the first 20 years of my life are so hard to drown out. At LU, when a computer science techy led me to Christ (go Computer Science techies!) I was surrounded by alot of Godly voices, and it's been that way for the past four years. Not so anymore. The answer? To believe, to believe the truth, that I am set free from fear, from the past, and when I believe: truely, then I can trust God enough to do what He says.
And when that happenes, it's a beautiful freeing thing, not just for me, but the lost soul that hears the saving truth that sets them free as well.
1 comment:
Hey, get a friend or two to go with you, just to watch in case you need back up. They don't have to actually walk alongside you like bodyguards, they can shadow you. Just have them walk out a little ahead or a little behind.
Either the security guard has something evil in mind, or he's trying to say that he wouldn't mind if you would consider him as a prospect for walking down the aisle.
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