I've been thinking about the topic of being impressive or expecting perfection or an ideal.
The first part of this thought involves trying to be impressive. I've had several experiences where a person was trying (overly so) to impress me and it was so unpleasant (not to mention smothering) that I shudder to think of. What bothered me most about these experiences is that a person was particularly kind or considerate to me but not to others. If a person is kind, then they will be kind to everyone. The street goes both ways. I've looked back on encounters with people and realized that I misrepresented myself in an attempt to impress. If I impress them, chances are, they don't really know me, and if I don't impress them, then I feel like a failure. Either way, I don't feel very satisfied after the encounter.
The fact is (and this ties in with my last note) none of us are impressive. Stop trying to be. We are all sinners, saved by grace. Grace is impressive, not us.
This leads me to the second part of my thought which is the expectation we place on others to be perfect or to fit an ideal. Whether it be my sister or my friends or even a boyfriend, I have definitely been guilty of this. Many people have also placed this ideal on me and I often respond so intensely that I run and don't look back.
I have a dear friend who was recently married to man that has a pretty intense past. Through her I came to see as never before the tremedous blessing of being a witness to grace in someone else's life. To watch a relative, friend, or companion be weak and experience mercy, to watch them move from degenerate to regenerate is uncomparibly amazing. How we rob ourselves of sharing in that when we place an ideal on others that is sure to disappoint! How we rob God of being able to use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, to demonstrate His perfect strength through our inadequacy!
I am blessed in my friends. I have friends that know the depth of my weakness and my past and demonstrate the same love towards me that Christ does. Instead of disappointment, they constantly hope for me, that God will complete the work He began, that He will help me where I need it. This is also the essence of forgiveness: to keep giving chances to those who do not deserve it.
I'm going to end this post with a repeat and a challenge. Be thankful for those friends who take you as you are. Do not get so caught up in placing expectations on others that you miss who they are and the beauty of the grace which has been granted them. Do not be so disappointed in weakness that you miss the demonstration of God's strength as it perfects them.
And if someone is placing that impossible ideal of perfection on you then know: if you fail, if you get confused, if you don't have it all together, if the world should crash tomorrow, if your parents suddenly disapproved, if your friends rejected you, if you lost everything you had, if you were hungry or poor or alone the rest of your life, you'd still be okay :-] You are His. Don’t wrap yourself up in anything else but Him.
~never settle~
The first part of this thought involves trying to be impressive. I've had several experiences where a person was trying (overly so) to impress me and it was so unpleasant (not to mention smothering) that I shudder to think of. What bothered me most about these experiences is that a person was particularly kind or considerate to me but not to others. If a person is kind, then they will be kind to everyone. The street goes both ways. I've looked back on encounters with people and realized that I misrepresented myself in an attempt to impress. If I impress them, chances are, they don't really know me, and if I don't impress them, then I feel like a failure. Either way, I don't feel very satisfied after the encounter.
The fact is (and this ties in with my last note) none of us are impressive. Stop trying to be. We are all sinners, saved by grace. Grace is impressive, not us.
This leads me to the second part of my thought which is the expectation we place on others to be perfect or to fit an ideal. Whether it be my sister or my friends or even a boyfriend, I have definitely been guilty of this. Many people have also placed this ideal on me and I often respond so intensely that I run and don't look back.
I have a dear friend who was recently married to man that has a pretty intense past. Through her I came to see as never before the tremedous blessing of being a witness to grace in someone else's life. To watch a relative, friend, or companion be weak and experience mercy, to watch them move from degenerate to regenerate is uncomparibly amazing. How we rob ourselves of sharing in that when we place an ideal on others that is sure to disappoint! How we rob God of being able to use the foolish things of the world to confound the wise, to demonstrate His perfect strength through our inadequacy!
I am blessed in my friends. I have friends that know the depth of my weakness and my past and demonstrate the same love towards me that Christ does. Instead of disappointment, they constantly hope for me, that God will complete the work He began, that He will help me where I need it. This is also the essence of forgiveness: to keep giving chances to those who do not deserve it.
I'm going to end this post with a repeat and a challenge. Be thankful for those friends who take you as you are. Do not get so caught up in placing expectations on others that you miss who they are and the beauty of the grace which has been granted them. Do not be so disappointed in weakness that you miss the demonstration of God's strength as it perfects them.
And if someone is placing that impossible ideal of perfection on you then know: if you fail, if you get confused, if you don't have it all together, if the world should crash tomorrow, if your parents suddenly disapproved, if your friends rejected you, if you lost everything you had, if you were hungry or poor or alone the rest of your life, you'd still be okay :-] You are His. Don’t wrap yourself up in anything else but Him.
~never settle~
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